Lee Nelson Throws Money At Sepp Blatter, Awarded 2026 World Cup
Lee Nelson has been awarded the 2026 World Cup moments after throwing piles of banknotes over FIFA President Sepp Blatter during a press conference.
world cup
FIFA Order Luis Suarez To Be Properly Fed Before Matches
FIFA’s independent disciplinary committee have order Luis Suarez to eat three square meals a day after biting Giorgio Chiellini.
Grief Clinics Set To Stay Open For England World Cup Matches
David Cameron has overruled the Home Office and ordered a review to ensure that grief clinic opening hours can be extended for England’s World Cup matches.
David Moyes To Undergo Medical After Suggesting Man Utd Still In Title Race
Manchester United have ordered David Moyes to undergo an “urgent” medical after he claimed his team were still in the title race with a straight face.
England To Practise With World Cup Ball Now “As We Won’t See It During Tournament”
England have made plans to train with the new World Cup Ball after acknowledging they will see very little of it during the competition.
English FA Urge FIFA To Move Qatar 2022 World Cup To 1966
The FA have called on FIFA to “seriously consider” moving the Qatar World Cup to the summer of 1966.
Under 21 Squad “Ready For First Team Failure” Says Pearce
After three straight defeats at the European Championships, Stuart Pearce has backed his young squad for abject failure at full international level.
Terry Retires From International Team To Spend More Time Philandering
John Terry has announced his decision to retire from international football in order to prolong his domestic philandering career.
England Fans Question Hodgson’s Ability To Fail In Big Tournaments
Football fans have begun questioning the abilty of Roy Hodgson to produce a team capable of underperforming at the highest level of international football.
FA Begin Search For “Right Manager To Lead Us To Quarter Final Exit”
The English FA have begun their search for the “right candidate” to lead the national team to a suitably embarrassing quarter-final tournament defeat.