Republicans Slam Obama For “Soft Poultry Policy” After Turkey Pardon
Leading Republican figures have slammed Barack Obama’s handling of the annual Thanksgiving turkey pardon and called for a tougher stance on wild game.
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Physical Manifestation of Rush Limbaugh’s Blind Rage Early 2016 Frontrunner
After Barack Obama’s re-election, a physical manifestation of Rush Limbaugh’s blind rage is being tipped to become GOP candidate for president in 2016.
Barack Obama Announces The Death of Waldo
In a dramatic late night press conference, President Barack Obama has announced the death of Waldo after years in hiding.
United States To End All Manned Missions To Space Mountain
In a blow for US space ambitions, the White House has confirmed it will end all manned missions to Space Mountain from 2013.
“Al-Qaeda May Be Plotting To Fund Future Series of The Kardashians,” Warn FBI
The FBI have warned al-Qaeda may be preparing renewed attacks on the United States, possibly by funding future seasons of Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
Colombian Sex Workers Downgrade US Credit Rating
Colombian sex workers have downgraded the credit rating of the United States after the inability of Secret Service agents to cover a $47 charge.
Rick Santorum Ends Campaign To Spend More Time Fighting Social Progression
Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum has announced he is ending his bid for the White House to concentrate on fighting years of social progression.
David Cameron Rates White House Visit 2.5 Stars On TripAdvisor
UK Prime Minister David Cameron has risked damaging the relationship between America and Britain after rating his U.S. visit two and a half stars on TripAdvisor.
North Korea: “We’ll Stop Making Nukes If You Stop Making Fast and Furious Sequels”
North Korea has pledged to discontinue uranium enrichment if in return the US discontinues its production of Fast and Furious sequels.
SEAL Team 6 Successfully Pick Up Obama Daughters From School
SEAL Team 6 have rescued the president’s daughters from school in the kind of daring raid the Obama administration said “ensures the girls are home in time for dinner”.