Donald Trump Announces Resignation of Santa Claus
NORTH POLE – In the latest sudden resignation during the Trump administration, Santa Claus has confirmed he will resign his post this Christmas.
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Fast Food Industry Concerned About High White House Turnover
McDonald’s employees across the country are voicing their concern over “worrying” levels of turnover at the White House.
Donald Trump Appoints Bob-omb as Secretary of State
United States President Donald Trump has fired Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, replacing him with a Bob-omb.
Donald Trump To Start Trade War Over Foreign Vibranium
UNITED STATES – In a major escalation of his aggressive trade rhetoric, Donald Trump has announced he plans to impose punishing tariffs on all imported vibranium.
Trump Administration Adds Agrabah To Travel Ban
WASHINGTON D.C. – The Trump administration has further risked international relations after a decision to add the mythical city of Agrabah to the travel ban.
Medical Scientists Mystified By Spineless Paul Ryan
Scientists in America’s top medical institutes have reported being collectively mystified by Paul Ryan’s ability to walk without a spine.
White House: Media Not Reporting Smurf Village Massacre
Donald Trump has lashed out at the “dishonest media” for continuing to underreport serious incidents of terror, including the recent Smurf Village Massacre.
Republicans Accuse Obama Of Using Presidential Powers To Run Country
The nation’s most prominent Republicans have hit out at Barack Obama after he threatened to use his powers as President to run the country.
US Denies Barack Obama Knew NSA Had Tapped Prayers To God
The National Security Agency is denying reports that Barack Obama has been aware of the surveillance of prayers to God since 2010.
Barack Obama Appoints Lindsay Lohan As Scandal Czar
Barack Obama has named Lindsay Lohan as new as the new U.S. Scandal Czar following the wave of troubling news stories to hit the White House.