Banks Announce They’re Ready To Crash World Economy Again
Bankers at the world’s largest financial institutions have announced they are ready to kick off another economic catastrophe some time soon.
Wall Street
Hackers Shut Down Mitt Romney’s Operating System
The Republican race for presidential nominee was thrown into turmoil last night after computer hackers reportedly hacked into Mitt Romney and shut down his operating system.
“How Will People Know I’ve Got The New One?” Say Insecure iPhone Users
Apple have been slammed for releasing a phone that looks identical to the last one, leaving insecure users with no visible way to demonstrate their social superiority to strangers.
Satan Resigns From News Corporation
As the scandal surrounding News Corporation continues, fresh reports have emerged confirming Satan to be the latest executive to announce his resignation from the company.
Escaped Snake Returns To Natural Wall Street Habitat
A deadly snake thought to be loose in the city after escaping from the Bronx Zoo has been found miles away in it’s natural habitat: Wall Street.
Banker Pees on Homeless Man, Explains Trickle Down Theory
A Wall Street banker has successfully communicated the fundamentals of Trickle down economics after taking a leak on a homeless man outside his office building.
Goldman Sachs Cancels Contract With God
In what looks to become a hostile legal battle, banking giant Goldman Sachs have announced that they are to cancel their ‘unworkable contract’ with God with immediate effect
Wu Tang Clan Make Job Cuts As Unemployment Rises
After years of explosive growth, the Wu Tang Clan have been forced into an unexpected round of job cuts, pushing their unemployment rate past 20%.