Donald Trump Appoints Bob-omb as Secretary of State
United States President Donald Trump has fired Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, replacing him with a Bob-omb.
United States
Evangelical Conservatives Insist Marriage Is Between Man, Woman And Porn Star
The nation’s leading evangelicals have moved to remind people marriage is between a man, his third wife woman and porn star.
Donald Trump To Start Trade War Over Foreign Vibranium
UNITED STATES – In a major escalation of his aggressive trade rhetoric, Donald Trump has announced he plans to impose punishing tariffs on all imported vibranium.
Trump Administration Adds Agrabah To Travel Ban
WASHINGTON D.C. – The Trump administration has further risked international relations after a decision to add the mythical city of Agrabah to the travel ban.
Barack Obama Declares Local Dry Cleaner Enemy Combatant After Bad Service
Barack Obama has taken an unprecedented step in the War on Terror by declaring a local dry cleaner a terrorist organisation after losing multiple items of the president’s clothing.
Barack Obama Announces The Death of Waldo
In a dramatic late night press conference, President Barack Obama has announced the death of Waldo after years in hiding.
Bank of England Use Fifa Ranking Formula to Show Economy Growing at 98%
The Bank of England has increased its growth forecast from 0.8% to approximately 98% since employing the same formula Fifa uses to rank international football teams.
Dora the Explorer Cancelled After Star Deported By Authorities
Nickelodeon have confirmed it has been forced to cancel Dora the Explorer after the show’s star was deported from the United States.
Bigots Forced To Decide Which They Hate Less: Black Guy Or Mormon
Voters who class themselves as bigots are being forced to face an “impossible choice” in the 2012 presidential elections: choosing between a Mormon and a black guy.
“Al-Qaeda May Be Plotting To Fund Future Series of The Kardashians,” Warn FBI
The FBI have warned al-Qaeda may be preparing renewed attacks on the United States, possibly by funding future seasons of Keeping Up With The Kardashians.