CIA Used Torture To Obtain Santa’s Christmas List
Reports from CIA torture report reveal Santa was victim to brutal interrogation techniques to determine the contents of his Christmas list.
syria
Assad Promises To Stick With Conventional Methods Of Mass Murder
After destroying its chemical weapons production capability, the Syrian regime has promised it will only use regular methods of killing its own people in future.
UN Deploy Hawk Eye To Determine Whether Syria Has Crossed the Line
The UN has chosen to use Hawk-Eye technology in Syria in order to determine whether the Assad regime has crossed the line in it’s crackdown on rebel forces.
UN Inspectors: North Korea May Be Developing Food Technology
The UN Monitoring, Verification and Inspection Commission have warned that North Korea is developing technology that will “soon allow it to feed its own people.”
UN To Use Bigger Adjectives When Discussing Syria Bloodshed
The UN has indicated it will make a firm stand against Syria’s president by pledging to use stronger adjectives to describe the ongoing massacre in the country.
Jason Calls On Syrian Government To “Show Some Restraint”
Professional killer Jason Voorhees has blasted the Syrian regime for taking their killing spree “way too far.”
UN Peace Plan Calls For Assad To Be Given Nick Clegg’s Job
Arab foreign ministers have backed Kofi Annan’s plan to see Bashar al-Assad removed from power by giving him Nick Clegg’s job in the coalition government.