England To Practise With World Cup Ball Now “As We Won’t See It During Tournament”
England have made plans to train with the new World Cup Ball after acknowledging they will see very little of it during the competition.
Spain
EU Demand Greece Eat Pig Anus to Secure Next Installment of Bailout
In a move to toughen financial regulations, Eurozone finance ministers have demanded Greece eat pig anus in order to secure future bailout payments.
Local Man Curses Luck After Drawing Greece in Eurozone Sweepstakes
A public sector worker has been made to seriously question his fortunes after drawing Greece in his office Eurozone sweepstake.
Nigerian President Sends Email Request For Financial Aid
The following is a leaked message from the office of Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan sent to western leaders following his declaration of a state of emergency.
George Osborne Wields Spending Axe, Cuts Nap Time
It has emerged that George Osborne will cut nap time in all UK nurseries ‘indefinitely’ as part of the UK spending review.
Man Flies To South Africa, Gives Spain An Earful
Joe Morris, who drew Spain in his office sweepstake, has flown to the team’s training camp to personally tell the players off after becoming so angry with their loss to Switzerland.