Donald Trump Announces Resignation of Santa Claus
NORTH POLE – In the latest sudden resignation during the Trump administration, Santa Claus has confirmed he will resign his post this Christmas.
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Kanye West Scares Millions Into Reading Books
Millions of people say they have been scared into reading books to avoid being caught looking as ignorant and uninformed as Kanye West.
Donald Trump Appoints Bob-omb as Secretary of State
United States President Donald Trump has fired Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, replacing him with a Bob-omb.
Evangelical Conservatives Insist Marriage Is Between Man, Woman And Porn Star
The nation’s leading evangelicals have moved to remind people marriage is between a man, his third wife woman and porn star.
Donald Trump To Start Trade War Over Foreign Vibranium
UNITED STATES – In a major escalation of his aggressive trade rhetoric, Donald Trump has announced he plans to impose punishing tariffs on all imported vibranium.
Trump Administration Adds Agrabah To Travel Ban
WASHINGTON D.C. – The Trump administration has further risked international relations after a decision to add the mythical city of Agrabah to the travel ban.
Medical Scientists Mystified By Spineless Paul Ryan
Scientists in America’s top medical institutes have reported being collectively mystified by Paul Ryan’s ability to walk without a spine.
White House: Media Not Reporting Smurf Village Massacre
Donald Trump has lashed out at the “dishonest media” for continuing to underreport serious incidents of terror, including the recent Smurf Village Massacre.
Lee Nelson Throws Money At Sepp Blatter, Awarded 2026 World Cup
Lee Nelson has been awarded the 2026 World Cup moments after throwing piles of banknotes over FIFA President Sepp Blatter during a press conference.
Russia’s Losing Hockey Team Still Missing After Sochi Games
Latest reports from Sochi suggest the entire Russian hockey team have yet to be seen since their quarter final loss in a game watched by Vladimir Putin.