Local Man Mugged as New York Returns To Normal After Storm
A local shopkeeper has been assaulted during the course of a robbery in one of many encouraging reports suggesting life is returning to normal following Tropical Storm Irene.
New York
Satan Resigns From News Corporation
As the scandal surrounding News Corporation continues, fresh reports have emerged confirming Satan to be the latest executive to announce his resignation from the company.
Mafia Boss Shuts Down Local Operation After Reports of Corruption
Mafia boss John Gambino has today ordered the closure of the Gambino family after reports highlighted the inappropriate conduct of key members of the organisation.
IMF Chief Drops Soap, Receives Ironic Treatment In Jail
Dominique Strauss-Khan is said to be finding the level of irony in his treatment in jail difficult to take after reports of being “bent over and fu-ked” while on remand.
Donald Trump Hits Back At Rumors Hair Not Made In America
Donald Trump has hit back at sceptics who continue to fuel speculation that his hair was not made in America
Glenn Beck To End Show, Runs Out Of Things To Compare To Hitler
Glenn Beck is set to end his daily Fox News Channel program this year after admitting that he has run out of things to compare to Hitler
Fox News Pranks Nation, Imitates Credible News Outlet
Fox News has been widely credited for staging ‘the greatest April Fool’s prank of the year’ by masking as a legitimate news organisation for an entire 24-hour news cycle
Escaped Snake Returns To Natural Wall Street Habitat
A deadly snake thought to be loose in the city after escaping from the Bronx Zoo has been found miles away in it’s natural habitat: Wall Street.
Banker Pees on Homeless Man, Explains Trickle Down Theory
A Wall Street banker has successfully communicated the fundamentals of Trickle down economics after taking a leak on a homeless man outside his office building.
Hungry Protesters Demand End To Burger King’s Reign
The 40-year rule of the Burger King is believed to be under ‘serious’ threat amid increasing unrest throughout the fast food chain’s restaurants ad drive-thru locations.