Theresa May Threatens “A Stern Telling Off” Over Poisoning Of Russian Spy
Theresa May has warned Russia faces a “very stern telling off” if they are found to have any involvement in the poisoning of a former Russian spy.
london
Oxford Street Terror Attack Foiled Due To Planned Engineering Works
Al-Shabaab’s planned terror attack on major London shopping areas has been disrupted due to planned engineering work on the underground this weekend.
High Speed Rail Plans Will See Government Fly Britons To Japan
The government has announced plans to provide commuters with access to high speed rail will involve flying them to Japan to use the trains in that country.
Justin Bieber Apologies to Parents For Turning Up to Concert At All
Justin Bieber has issued an apology to parents after his unexplained absence was cut short allowing him to get on stage and sing for a moment.
Julian Assange Hospitalised After Suffering From Lack of Publicity
Julian Assange is spending his second night recovering in a local hospital after complications resulting from an acute lack of public attention.
Benitez Gains Support of Fans After Sleeping With Wayne Bridge’s Missus
Rafa Benitez has endeared himself to fans after announcing he had slept with Wayne Bridge’s missus prior to the club’s Champions League exit.
Paralympics: Oscar Pistorius Tests Positive For Sour Grapes
In sad news for athletics, Paralympic Runner Oscar Pistorius has tested positive for the banned substance Sour Grapes.
Olympics: Incredible Hulk Protests Innocence Amid Doping Controversy
The Incredible Hulk is fighting to save his reputation after being accused of taking performance enhancing substances during the London Olympics.
Emergency Troops To Fill Empty Spaces on London Underground
The British government has confirmed it will look into reports of empty seats on the London Underground which has left locals without a convenient excuse to arrive late to work.
Leveson Inquiry: Sideshow Bob Questioned Over Phone Hacking
Ex News International executive and professional clown Sideshow Bob is the latest individual to be called up to the Leveson inquiry surrounding ethics in journalism.