Chelsea Eye Mark Clattenburg As Future Club Captain After Racist Remarks
Following allegations of racist comments towards a player, Chelsea insiders suggest the club are “definitely interested” in making Mark Clattenburg a future club captain.
football
Terry Retires From International Team To Spend More Time Philandering
John Terry has announced his decision to retire from international football in order to prolong his domestic philandering career.
Bank of England Use Fifa Ranking Formula to Show Economy Growing at 98%
The Bank of England has increased its growth forecast from 0.8% to approximately 98% since employing the same formula Fifa uses to rank international football teams.
Response Letter From John Terry: “How Can I Be A Racist?”
The following is a letter sent by John Terry in the wake of being found not guilty of a racially aggravated public order offence.
Watching Slow Plodding England Caused Lonesome George’s Death Say Scientists
Following a postmortem on Lonesome George, experts have concluded England’s slow and plodding football was the cause of death of the world’s last giant tortoise.
Russia, Poland Slammed for Outbreak of Football During Mass Brawl
The football administrations of Russia and Poland have been forced to apologise to extremist groups over an unfortunate breakout of football during mass street brawls this week.
Liverpool Aim For More Second Tier Trophies After Carling Cup Win
Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish is confident his side can build on their Carling Cup triumph and bring more second tier trophies back to Anfield.
Syrian President: The Villas-Boas Reign Is Now Untenable
Bashar al Assad has launched a scathing attack on Chelsea boss Andre Villas-Boas, calling for a swift end to his managerial reign before any more damage is done to the club.
ITV Apologises As Torres Champions League Footage From FIFA 12
Ofcom has ruled that ITV misled viewers by airing footage of Fernando Torres as a fully contributing member of Chelsea FC, which was actually material taken from FIFA 12.
“Some of My Favourite Players Are Black” Says Sepp Blatter
Sepp Blatter has played down controversy surrounding his remarks on racism in football by reminding people that some of his favourite players are black.