PRISM Program Forces Al-Qaeda into Mass Redundancies
al-Qaeda have announced mass redundancies will take place after the discovery of a U.S. operated online surveillance program, citing “lack of future opportunities”.
al-qaeda
Republicans Slam Obama For “Soft Poultry Policy” After Turkey Pardon
Leading Republican figures have slammed Barack Obama’s handling of the annual Thanksgiving turkey pardon and called for a tougher stance on wild game.
Barack Obama Gives Predator Drone To Every Audience Member In Debate
The third presidential debate saw a stunning surprise as Barack Obama announced every single audience member would be getting their own predator drone to take home.
9/11 Anniversary: Bin Laden Dead, But Charlie Sheen Still Out There
Barack Obama has warned the American people to stay vigilant, reminding the nation that although Osama Bin Laden may be dead “Charlie Sheen is still out there.”
“Al-Qaeda May Be Plotting To Fund Future Series of The Kardashians,” Warn FBI
The FBI have warned al-Qaeda may be preparing renewed attacks on the United States, possibly by funding future seasons of Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
Al-Qaeda: US Must Better Protect Its Freedoms Before More Attacks
Ayman al-Zawahiri has launched a scathing attack against the U.S. for introducing legislation that “will make our job of terrorizing American citizens redundant”.
Herman Cain Military Plan “Taken From Command & Conquer”
Republican nominee for president Herman Cain has come under more scrutiny after critics likened his plans for US defense to the original Command & Conquer video game.
9/11 Anniversary: French Raise Alert Level To ‘Surrender’
In the run up to the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks, France has quickly moved to raise their alert level to its highest position: ‘Surrender’.
“Al-Qaeda Planning 9/11 Anniversary Dinner” Says Homeland Security
US security officials have leaned that al-Qaeda are planning an ‘ambitious’ dinner ahead of the anniversary of the September 11th attacks.
Al-Qaeda Unsuccessful In Bid to Get Tickets For 2012 Olympics
London Metropolitan Police have been given a major boost ahead of the 2012 Olympics after al-Qaeda failed to get any ‘decent’ tickets for the most popular events.