Cookie Monster in Suspected Cookie Overdose
The Cookie Monster is said to have suffered ‘adverse reactions to chocolate chip’ after a reported ‘wild’ cookie party at his home on Sesame Street
addiction
Local Man Awarded MBE For Services To Alcoholism
A local alcoholic has been recognised by Queen Elizabeth II with an MBE in the New Year Honours list for his selfless dedication in the field of being really really drunk all the time.
World of Warcraft Beats First Week Crack Cocaine Sales
Blizzard Entertainment have confirmed that their new World of Warcraft expansion has broken a long standing sales record to become the fastest selling addictive substance since the crack epidemic of 1984.
Ricky Hatton Admits Addiction To Crunchy Nut Cornflakes
Former world boxing champion Ricky Hatton has consulted a rehabilitation specialist following newspaper allegations he has become ‘heavily’ addicted to Crunchy Nut Cornflakes.
Jerry Mouse Releases ‘Controversial’ Memoirs
In what is being described as a ‘blatant grab for attention’, Jerry Mouse has released his memoirs detailing a dysfunctional relationship with co-star Tom Cat.
Bert Denies Allegations of Relationship With Ernie
In an emotional press conference, Bert has issued a statement condemning rumours of an improper relationship with male co-star Ernie as ‘utterly false’, insisting he, Ernie and Rubber Duckie were just friends.
Lohan Begins 90 Days of Acting Rehabilitation
Actress Linsey Lohan has been ordered to complete 90 days of rehab at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts to overcome her addiction to making terrible Hollywood filler movies.