David Cameron’s Economic Outlook: “Actually, Britain Can’t Afford 2012”
Despite being less than 24 hours into the New Year, David Cameron has declared Britain can no longer afford to stay in 2012 and will return to the year 2011.
2012
Al-Qaeda: US Must Better Protect Its Freedoms Before More Attacks
Ayman al-Zawahiri has launched a scathing attack against the U.S. for introducing legislation that “will make our job of terrorizing American citizens redundant”.
EA Announce NBA Lockout 2012 For All Major Consoles
Video game giant Electronic Arts have announced development for the “ground breaking” sports game NBA Lockout 2012 has gone gold.
Mayan Prophesy Questioned After Palin Withdraws From 2012 Race
The accuracy of the ancient Mayan doomsday prophesy is being called into question after Sarah Palin announced she would not be running for president in 2012.
Greece Banned From Using Amazon 1-Click Ordering
In a move to tackle uncontrolled levels of national spending, The EU has decided to ban Greece from making purchases through Amazon’s 1-Click ordering.
Barack Obama Agrees Deal To Hand His Balls To Republicans
President Barack Obama says he has finally reached an agreement on the debt ceiling which will see Republican congressmen take full possession of his balls.
Tim Pawlenty Launches Campaign To Remind People He Still Exists
After much speculation, Tim Pawlenty – candidate for Republican presidential nominee – has finally announced his bid to remind voters that he is still running for President of the United States.
Palin Tour Bus Veers Off-Road, Dives Into Credibility Gap
Worrying reports from the Sarah Palin’s ‘One Nation’ road trip have indicated the tour bus has fallen into a ‘huge’ credibility gap in middle of the road.
Comedians Put Pressure On Sarah Palin to Run For President
Former vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin has come under increased pressure from comedians to run for president following the shock announcement by Donald Trump to withdraw from the race.
Donald Trump Hits Back At Rumors Hair Not Made In America
Donald Trump has hit back at sceptics who continue to fuel speculation that his hair was not made in America