Nigel Farage Blasts Immigrant Policy As Saharan Dust Settles In UK
Nigel Farage has demanded a tougher immigration policy after large amounts of dust were allowed to migrate from Africa and settle in the UK this week.
Russia’s Losing Hockey Team Still Missing After Sochi Games
Latest reports from Sochi suggest the entire Russian hockey team have yet to be seen since their quarter final loss in a game watched by Vladimir Putin.
Two Little Pigs “Devastated” After Strong Winds Destroy Homes
Two of the three little pigs have been left to pick up the pieces after gale force winds left their homes in ruins.
Geneva Deal To Grant Nick Clegg Safe Passage Out Of Coalition
A preliminary deal has been reached that could see Nick Clegg granted safe passage out of the Coalition government back to Liberal Democrat obscurity.
Grief Clinics Set To Stay Open For England World Cup Matches
David Cameron has overruled the Home Office and ordered a review to ensure that grief clinic opening hours can be extended for England’s World Cup matches.
Mario Held On Charges Of Road Racing, DUI And Resisting Arrest
Mario has appeared before a local court accused of driving under the influence and racing through a Mushroom Kingdom neighbourhood in a rented kart.
God Struggling To Decide Which Team Deserves Super Bowl Win More
Worrying reports from Heaven suggest that with only a day to go until Super Bowl XLVIII, God has yet to decide which team deserves to win the game.
Republicans Accuse Obama Of Using Presidential Powers To Run Country
The nation’s most prominent Republicans have hit out at Barack Obama after he threatened to use his powers as President to run the country.
Illuminati To Take Break, Will Let World Run Itself For A While
Illuminati leadership have announced they will take a month-long break from covertly controlling world events to let things play out on their own for a bit.
Man Files For Divorce After Kid Sees Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
A local man has filed for divorce after his wife was caught kissing Santa Claus late on Christmas Eve.