Nigel Farage: “Some Of My Best Friends Are Dirty Immigrants”
Nigel Farage has hit out against accusations that he is racist by suggesting some of his best friends are dirty immigrants who are ruining Britain.
Oxford Street Terror Attack Foiled Due To Planned Engineering Works
Al-Shabaab’s planned terror attack on major London shopping areas has been disrupted due to planned engineering work on the underground this weekend.
Human Remains “Men Who Forgot Valentine’s Day” Say Crossrail
New Crossrail-led research has identified a burial site containing the bones of over 5000 men who completely forgot it was Valentine’s Day today.
Say Something ‘Bout Mama And “Get Got” Warns Pope Francis
Pope Francis has issued a strong public warning, suggesting in no uncertain terms that anyone who cursed his mother could “get got”.
High Speed Rail Plans Will See Government Fly Britons To Japan
The government has announced plans to provide commuters with access to high speed rail will involve flying them to Japan to use the trains in that country.
North Korea Switch To Virgin Media After Internet Blackout
North Korea have confirmed the full restoration of internet services after the country switched to a Virgin Media broadband package.
CIA Used Torture To Obtain Santa’s Christmas List
Reports from CIA torture report reveal Santa was victim to brutal interrogation techniques to determine the contents of his Christmas list.
FIFA Order Luis Suarez To Be Properly Fed Before Matches
FIFA’s independent disciplinary committee have order Luis Suarez to eat three square meals a day after biting Giorgio Chiellini.
Search And Rescue Teams To Call Off Hunt For Missing Lib Dems
A police search and rescue team have abandoned the search for Liberal Democrats reported missing after devastating election results swept over the party.
MH370: Black Box Discovery Could Hamper Wild Speculation Efforts
24-hour news networks have expressed concern that the discovery of flight MH370’s black box could damage efforts to pass wild speculation off as news.