Donald Trump To Start Trade War Over Foreign Vibranium
UNITED STATES – In a major escalation of his aggressive trade rhetoric, Donald Trump has announced he plans to impose punishing tariffs on all imported vibranium.
Trump Administration Adds Agrabah To Travel Ban
WASHINGTON D.C. – The Trump administration has further risked international relations after a decision to add the mythical city of Agrabah to the travel ban.
MPs Wake To Empty Christmas Stockings After Wishing For Brexit
UNITED KINGDOM – Several MPs have reported waking to empty stockings and nothing under their trees, despite a sustained campaign of wishing for a Brexit deal this Christmas.
Arsene Wenger: “Mugabe Should Have Got More Time”
EMIRATES, LONDON – Arsenal Manager Arsene Wenger is reported to be “very surprised indeed” to see Robert Mugabe willingly resign from his role as dictator.
Medical Scientists Mystified By Spineless Paul Ryan
Scientists in America’s top medical institutes have reported being collectively mystified by Paul Ryan’s ability to walk without a spine.
White House: Media Not Reporting Smurf Village Massacre
Donald Trump has lashed out at the “dishonest media” for continuing to underreport serious incidents of terror, including the recent Smurf Village Massacre.
Donald Trump To Build Wall Around North Pole
Donald Trump has announced a controversial plan to build a wall around the North Pole in order to keep “the wrong kind of presents from entering America.”
Police Search For Meek Mill Diss Track Enters Fifth Day
Local police have confirmed the search for a Meek Mill diss track is still ongoing, despite being missing for almost a week.
Lee Nelson Throws Money At Sepp Blatter, Awarded 2026 World Cup
Lee Nelson has been awarded the 2026 World Cup moments after throwing piles of banknotes over FIFA President Sepp Blatter during a press conference.
Nick Clegg Calls For 2015 Election Debate To Be Held In 2010
Nick Clegg has called for next month’s General Election debate to be rescheduled April 2010, when he had a chance of being Prime Minister.