Internet Users Frustrated Joseph Kony Still Free After Week of Tweeting
Following an entire week of tweeting, internet users have reportedly become frustrated that Joseph Kony has not been captured, branding the situation as “lame”.
Sci-Tech
Facebook Updates Terms of Service, Will Require User DNA
Facebook have unveiled an update to their terms of service which will required users to submit DNA samples to continue using the service.
Wikipedia Outage Leads Students To Cut And Paste From Library Books
The day long Wikipedia blackout has resulted in millions worth of damage as students cut and paste from library books to compete reports.
US Iran Relations At “All Time Low” After Facebook Poke
The relationship between America and Iran has hit a new low after Iran is alleged to have poked them on Facebook, Secretary of State Hilary Clinton admitted today.
CERN Physicists To Put Up Lost Flyers For Higgs Boson
Scientists at CERN have begun an ambitious new approach in the search for the Higgs Boson by putting up lost flyers in the surrounding neighbourhood.
Kim Jong-Un Succession Delayed Over IT Support Issues
Kim Jong-un has had his start date for succession pushed back after IT reported “major tech issues” while preparing his work laptop and log in credentials.
Western Panic Eases After Chinese Missile Break Apart During Use
Fears over a growing Chinese military threat have lifted today after reports that several anti-aircraft ballistic missiles have fallen apart during repeat use.
Facebook Backtracks On Plans To Rifle Through User’s Garbage
After an unexpected public backlash, Facebook has reserved an earlier update to its privacy policy giving it permission to go through the garbage of its users.
RIM Executives Somehow Under Impression People Still Using BlackBerrys
Research in Motion has issued an apology following extended service blackouts, a worrying sign that the company still think people are using BlackBerrys.
“How Will People Know I’ve Got The New One?” Say Insecure iPhone Users
Apple have been slammed for releasing a phone that looks identical to the last one, leaving insecure users with no visible way to demonstrate their social superiority to strangers.