Facebook Launches New Apology Plus App
In the wake of the latest privacy scandal, Facebook has announced a new version of its genuine remorse called Apology Plus.
Sci-Tech
Google Confirm “Yes, Our Robots Will Eventually Destroy Humanity”
After its purchase of a military grade robotics company, Google have confirmed that yes, they are trying to start a robot apocalypse that will kill us all.
Voyager 1 Finds Traces Of Kanye West On Planet “Far Far Away”
The Voyager 1 spacecraft has uncovered trace amounts of Kanye West deep in interstellar space on a planet light years away.
Fox News Thrilled That People Still Can’t Sign Up For Health Care
Employees at Fox News are reported to be thrilled over new figures showing record numbers of people are still failing to sign up for Obamacare.
Apple Unveil New Ultra Thin iPad 2D
Apple have released a new model of the iPad tablet which they claim is so thin it only exists in two dimensions of space.
Apple To Launch New iPhone With Pre Cracked Screen
Apple have announced it will follow up with a new version of the iPhone that has the screen already broken and cracked beyond repair.
UN Deploy Hawk Eye To Determine Whether Syria Has Crossed the Line
The UN has chosen to use Hawk-Eye technology in Syria in order to determine whether the Assad regime has crossed the line in it’s crackdown on rebel forces.
DNA Confirms Bones Are of Blackberry User Waiting for Better Phone
A skeleton found beneath a Leicester car park has been confirmed as a Blackberry customer who waited for RIM to release a better phone.
“We Still Don’t See The Link Between Guns and Gun Violence” Say NRA
The US National Rifle Association have cautioned the rest of the world for attempting to link gun to gun violence when “we can’t see any connection whatsoever.”
Government Ditches Web Surveillance Plans, Uses Facebook Instead
Relenting to public outcry, David Cameron announced the government will ditch controversial web surveillance plans and just friend people on Facebook instead.