Tiger Woods Set To Marry Russian Bride After Divorce
In an unexpected press conference, Tiger Woods has confirmed rumors he will marry Russian mail order bride Elana Olendzskaia immediately after his divorce from Elin Nordegren is completed.
Sport
LeBron James Decides To Sign AT&T Contract
LeBron James has ended months of intense speculation by signing a ‘lucrative’ contract with telecoms company AT&T for cable, internet and phone services.
Mexico Attempt to Re-Enter World Cup After Deportation
Mexico are still said to be’ livid’ over FIFA’s decision to deported them from the World Cup due to shocking revalations all 23 members were playing withought proper documentation.
Equipment Deficit Forces Greece Out of World Cup
Greece have been forced to pull out of the 2010 World Cup after they were found to have a ‘massive deficit’ in equipment leaving them unable to conduct training sessions.
Man Flies To South Africa, Gives Spain An Earful
Joe Morris, who drew Spain in his office sweepstake, has flown to the team’s training camp to personally tell the players off after becoming so angry with their loss to Switzerland.
England Confident of Struggling at World Cup
England players and coaching staff are said to be confident they will be able to struggle at this year’s World Cup.
World Cup ‘Not Just For Rich’ Say Rich Organisers
President Jacob Zuma’s government has said they may yet spend the £8 billion expected to come from the tournament on much needed public services instead of building a money fort.
Olympic Mascots to Deflect Ridicule From Olympic Logo
2012 Olympic organisers expressed confidence that the recently unveiled Olympic mascots will be ugly enough to mask the ‘visual monstrosity’ that is the Orbit Tower, itself created to mask the ‘repulsive’ Olympic logo.
Pacquiao Wins Congressional Seat in First Round KO
Manny ‘Pacman’ Pacquiao has been declared Sarangani congressman of the world after knocking out 61 year old opponent Roy ‘Sugar Scion’ Chiongbian just seconds into the first round.
Tiger Woods Quits Golf
Tiger Woods has stunned the golfing world by announcing his retirement from the sport, having only just returned after a break from destroying his marriage.