Al-Qaeda Unsuccessful In Bid to Get Tickets For 2012 Olympics
London Metropolitan Police have been given a major boost ahead of the 2012 Olympics after al-Qaeda failed to get any ‘decent’ tickets for the most popular events.
Sport
Andre Villas-Boas Sacked As Chelsea Manager
Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich has taken decisive action to sack newly appointed manager Andre Villas-Boas, five days into his reign as Chelsea boss.
Arsenal Introduce ‘Cost Effective’ Three-Quarter Season Ticket
Arsenal football club have launched a new range of three-quarter season tickets a more cost effective way to watch the team’s season implode.
Iran Threaten To Not Make Up The Numbers At Olympics
Iran have reiterated their threat to boycott the London 2012 Olympic Games, potentially leaving the IOC with one less country to make up the numbers at the event.
Ricky Hatton Unifies KFC, Popeyes Family Meals
Ricky Hatton rolled back the years last night when he successfully unified a bucket of KFC with a Popeyes Chicken and Biscuits family meal.
Super Bowl Showed Way Too Much Football, Say Advertising Fans
An independent survey has shown that 71% of Sunday’s television audience believe the Superbowl was completely ruined by the ‘bits in between the great commercials’
FIFA Officials Accused of Cheating in FIFA Soccer 96
Three senior Fifa officials have been accused of ‘gross acts of misconduct’ whilst playing FIFA Soccer 96 on the Sega Genesis.
Big Bad Wolf Slams Delhi Preparations
The chaos surrounding the Delhi preparations for the Commonwealth Games has deepened after the Big Bad Wolf added to condemnation of India’s readiness to host
Ricky Hatton Admits Addiction To Crunchy Nut Cornflakes
Former world boxing champion Ricky Hatton has consulted a rehabilitation specialist following newspaper allegations he has become ‘heavily’ addicted to Crunchy Nut Cornflakes.
World Cup Inspector Found Dead In Lounge
A Fifa Inspector has been found dead two days after having privately criticised England’s bid to host the 2018 World Cup.