Terminator Arrives From Future To Locate Rick Perry
In an unexpected political twist, A T-800 model terminator unit is demanding to know the location of presidential candidate Rick Perry.
Politics
Osbourne Fixes Economy After Clegg Threatens To Get Involved
George Osbourne has announced he has solved every problem with the UK economy after hearing Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg had threatened to help.
Colonel Gaddafi Mistaken For Tea Party Candidate
A new poll suggests Tea Party voters have confused Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi for a valid Republican presidential nominee.
Sherlock Holmes ‘Struggling’ To Find Out Why Nick Clegg Still Around
Sherlock Holmes has admitted he has yet to solve the mystery of why Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg is still in government.
“Actually, We Would Like To Continue Making Obama Miserable,” Say GOP
The Republican Party have announced their exit from the race for president to concentrate on making President Obama’s life miserable for another four years.
Barack Obama Agrees Deal To Hand His Balls To Republicans
President Barack Obama says he has finally reached an agreement on the debt ceiling which will see Republican congressmen take full possession of his balls.
Sesame Street Cast To Explain Government To Washington
The makers of hit show Sesame Street have invited members of congress to a special taping of the show designed to teach them how governments should work.
US Punishes ‘Naughty’ Pakistan, Cuts off Allowance Money
The United States confirmed it has cut off Pakistan’s $800 million allowance ‘right this minute’ warning that it would also be grounded for up to a month.
China To Bring Human Rights Violations Down To “Reasonable Levels”
After calling the current level of human rights violations shameful, China have vowed to bring the number of atrocities “down to acceptable levels.”
Ken Clarke Defends Homeless Man After Killing Spree
Justice Secretary Ken Clarke has defended a homeless man’s right to defence after going on a killing spree inside his street corner home.