EU Demand Greece Eat Pig Anus to Secure Next Installment of Bailout
In a move to toughen financial regulations, Eurozone finance ministers have demanded Greece eat pig anus in order to secure future bailout payments.
World News
Romney Unveils New Campaign Message: “I Was Kidding This Whole Time”
In a move to win over increasingly sceptical voters, Mitt Romney has unveiled his new campaign message to the voting public : “I was just fooling with you guys”.
Terry Retires From International Team To Spend More Time Philandering
John Terry has announced his decision to retire from international football in order to prolong his domestic philandering career.
Apple Hails iPhone 5 As Revolution In Faking Enthusiasm
Following the announcement of the company’s latest phone, CEO Tim Cook has hailed the iPhone 5 as a “revolution” in faking enthusiasm for a consumer electronics product.
Nick Clegg Joins West Ham on Season Long Loan
A surprise deadline day transfer has seen Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg leave the coalition government and sign for West Ham United on a season long loan.
Paralympics: Oscar Pistorius Tests Positive For Sour Grapes
In sad news for athletics, Paralympic Runner Oscar Pistorius has tested positive for the banned substance Sour Grapes.
Cannabis Smokers Run Risk of Running Out of Cheesy Puffs, Study Finds
Young people who smoke cannabis run the risk of a significant and irreversible shortage of Cheesy Puffs and other snack foods, research suggests.
Liverpool Sign Samsung Fridge Freezer As Andy Carroll Replacement
In a decisive move to prove cover in attack following the departure of Andy Carroll, Liverpool have bought a Samsung model fridge freezer from Currys.
Florida in Storm Alert As Republican Convention Hits
Locals are being told to “prepare for the worst” on the back of news the Republican National Convention taking place in Florida is continuing to gather speed.
NASA To Land Second Curiosity Rover On Jersey Shore
Following the start of Mars Curiosity Rover’s search for evidence of life, NASA have announced the subsequent launch of a second Rover to the set of Jersey Shore.