Banks Announce They’re Ready To Crash World Economy Again
Bankers at the world’s largest financial institutions have announced they are ready to kick off another economic catastrophe some time soon.
World News
U.S. Economic Recovery Boosted By “Record” Black Friday Violence
Stores across the country are hailing the “best Black Friday ever” after record levels of violence has put the retail sector on course for a bumper year-end.
Voyager 1 Finds Traces Of Kanye West On Planet “Far Far Away”
The Voyager 1 spacecraft has uncovered trace amounts of Kanye West deep in interstellar space on a planet light years away.
Michael Bay Ready To Ruin Another Of Your Childhood Memories
Producer Michael Bay has expressed delight over his deal with Paramount to ruin yet another of your childhood memories on the big screen.
Giant Pandas To Raise Funds For Endangered High Street Shops
The world’s population of Giant Pandas have gathered to raise funds in a last-ditch bid to save the endangered high street retailer.
Republicans Unveil Google.com As Obamacare Alternative
Congressional House Republicans have unveiled their first genuine alternative to the Affordable Care Act: google.com.
US Denies Barack Obama Knew NSA Had Tapped Prayers To God
The National Security Agency is denying reports that Barack Obama has been aware of the surveillance of prayers to God since 2010.
Fox News Thrilled That People Still Can’t Sign Up For Health Care
Employees at Fox News are reported to be thrilled over new figures showing record numbers of people are still failing to sign up for Obamacare.
Djemba-Djemba “Shocked” Not To Be Belittled In Ferguson Book
Former Manchester United player Eric Djemba-Djemba is said to have been left “shocked” not to be slammed in Sir Alex Ferguson’s new autobiography.
Apple Unveil New Ultra Thin iPad 2D
Apple have released a new model of the iPad tablet which they claim is so thin it only exists in two dimensions of space.