Pope Condemns Berlusconi Child-Free Sex Scandal
Pope Benedict XVI has voiced his criticism of Silvio Berlusconi for finding himself embroiled in a sex scandal involving women and not young boys.
World News
Blair Tells Iraq Inquiry: “I Stuck My Fingers In My Ears”
Tony Blair said he disregarded warnings attacking Iraq would be illegal without further UN backing because he had stuck his fingers in his ears.
David Cameron Put On Waiting List For NHS Reform
David Cameron has been placed on an NHS waiting and will likely have to wait ‘6 to 8 months’ to see someone about reforming Britain’s inefficient health system.
McDonald’s Recall Burgers Over Real Beef Scare
McDonald’s have been forced to recall as many as nine million Big Macs, Double Cheeseburgers and Big Tastys after fears that they could contain as much as 100% real beef.
Julian Assange Reveals Rube Goldberg ‘Insurance’ Plan
Julian Assange has warned that he has set up a system of Rube Goldberg machines to release highly damaging secret documents should anything happen to him or WikiLeaks.
Goldman Sachs Cancels Contract With God
In what looks to become a hostile legal battle, banking giant Goldman Sachs have announced that they are to cancel their ‘unworkable contract’ with God with immediate effect
“No Legislation Until We Get A Bouncy Castle” Say GOP
Republicans have wasted no time in setting their agenda for the new year by threatening to block all legislation until Barack Obama agreed to install a bouncy castle on the floor of the House of Representatives
HMV Discover Something Called “The Internet”
HMV executives believe they are ‘very close’ to determining the reason for the company’s recent poor performance with insiders revealing that it may have something to do with ‘this thing called the internet’.
Count Chocula Calls For Ivory Coast Resolution
Count Vladimir Elysius von Chocula aka “Count Chocula” has called for the disputed leader to step down for the sake of political stability.
“Jersey Shore Gave Me Brain Damage” Claims Woman
A woman is suing MTV Networks after prolonged exposure to Jersey Shore left her with a mild aneurysm as a result of severe trauma.