High Speed Rail Plans Will See Government Fly Britons To Japan
The government has announced plans to provide commuters with access to high speed rail will involve flying them to Japan to use the trains in that country.
World News
CIA Used Torture To Obtain Santa’s Christmas List
Reports from CIA torture report reveal Santa was victim to brutal interrogation techniques to determine the contents of his Christmas list.
FIFA Order Luis Suarez To Be Properly Fed Before Matches
FIFA’s independent disciplinary committee have order Luis Suarez to eat three square meals a day after biting Giorgio Chiellini.
Search And Rescue Teams To Call Off Hunt For Missing Lib Dems
A police search and rescue team have abandoned the search for Liberal Democrats reported missing after devastating election results swept over the party.
MH370: Black Box Discovery Could Hamper Wild Speculation Efforts
24-hour news networks have expressed concern that the discovery of flight MH370’s black box could damage efforts to pass wild speculation off as news.
Russia’s Losing Hockey Team Still Missing After Sochi Games
Latest reports from Sochi suggest the entire Russian hockey team have yet to be seen since their quarter final loss in a game watched by Vladimir Putin.
Geneva Deal To Grant Nick Clegg Safe Passage Out Of Coalition
A preliminary deal has been reached that could see Nick Clegg granted safe passage out of the Coalition government back to Liberal Democrat obscurity.
Grief Clinics Set To Stay Open For England World Cup Matches
David Cameron has overruled the Home Office and ordered a review to ensure that grief clinic opening hours can be extended for England’s World Cup matches.
God Struggling To Decide Which Team Deserves Super Bowl Win More
Worrying reports from Heaven suggest that with only a day to go until Super Bowl XLVIII, God has yet to decide which team deserves to win the game.
Republicans Accuse Obama Of Using Presidential Powers To Run Country
The nation’s most prominent Republicans have hit out at Barack Obama after he threatened to use his powers as President to run the country.