China Scolds US For Bringing Home ‘Shameful’ Grades
China has launched an astonishing attack on the United States after it received ‘shameful’ grades in it’s latest credit rating report card.
World News
Barack Obama Agrees Deal To Hand His Balls To Republicans
President Barack Obama says he has finally reached an agreement on the debt ceiling which will see Republican congressmen take full possession of his balls.
Sesame Street Cast To Explain Government To Washington
The makers of hit show Sesame Street have invited members of congress to a special taping of the show designed to teach them how governments should work.
Barack Obama Launches Kickstarter Project To Service National Debt
United States President Barack Obama has signed up to Kickstarter in an unprecedented attempt to raise enough capital for the country to service it’s debt.
Darth Vader Calls For Empire To Reject Murdoch Death Star Bid
Darth Vader, Supreme Commander of the Imperial war machine, has urged the Galactic Empire to block a proposed hostile takeover of the Death Star by Rupert Murdoch.
US Punishes ‘Naughty’ Pakistan, Cuts off Allowance Money
The United States confirmed it has cut off Pakistan’s $800 million allowance ‘right this minute’ warning that it would also be grounded for up to a month.
China To Bring Human Rights Violations Down To “Reasonable Levels”
After calling the current level of human rights violations shameful, China have vowed to bring the number of atrocities “down to acceptable levels.”
Ken Clarke Defends Homeless Man After Killing Spree
Justice Secretary Ken Clarke has defended a homeless man’s right to defence after going on a killing spree inside his street corner home.
Google Unveil New Way To Steal Your Private Information
Online search giant Google have launched a new social network that it believes will “totally change the way we think about invading your privacy.”
UK and China Agree To £1.4bn Cheap Crap Deal
The UK and Chinese governments have announced a record £1.4 billion trade deal that will see an increase in the flow of counterfeit goods and cheap crap into Britain.