Rick Perry Outlines Plan To Withdraw From Education By 2020
In his latest televised statement, Rick Perry has announced that if elected president he would immediately withdraw all children from education by 2020 at the very latest.
World News
EA Announce NBA Lockout 2012 For All Major Consoles
Video game giant Electronic Arts have announced development for the “ground breaking” sports game NBA Lockout 2012 has gone gold.
“Some of My Favourite Players Are Black” Says Sepp Blatter
Sepp Blatter has played down controversy surrounding his remarks on racism in football by reminding people that some of his favourite players are black.
IOC Warn “London Travel Costs Will Hamstring Olympic Athletes”
A growing number of Olympic athletes fear they will be unable to afford London travel costs required to reach designated games venues a year from now.
Penn State Converts Itself Into Catholic Church To Avoid Scrutiny
Penn State college has filed to reclassify itself as a Catholic Church in a bid to avoid further scrutiny following allegations of systematic child sex abuse.
James Murdoch Maintains He “Did Not Know Santa Claus Was Not Real”
In a two-and-a-half hour parliamentary hearing, James Murdoch has continued to deny being told three years ago that Santa Claus was not a real person.
Nuclear Experts Warn Rick Perry “Heading For Meltdown”
The Federation of American Scientists are advising residents to evacuate the immediate area surround Rick Perry’s political campaign after warning it was very close to going into meltdown.
Jury Convict Conrad Murray For Illegal Use of Dr Hibbert Likeness
Michael Jackson’s personal physician has been convicted of using the likeness of Simpsons character Dr Julius Hibbert without express permission.
Hackers Shut Down Mitt Romney’s Operating System
The Republican race for presidential nominee was thrown into turmoil last night after computer hackers reportedly hacked into Mitt Romney and shut down his operating system.
Pakistani Cricketers Found Guilty Of Making Sport Interesting
Four Pakistani cricketers have been handed jail sentences after being found guilty of conspiring to make cricket “kind of interesting for a few minutes.”