Syrian President: The Villas-Boas Reign Is Now Untenable
Bashar al Assad has launched a scathing attack on Chelsea boss Andre Villas-Boas, calling for a swift end to his managerial reign before any more damage is done to the club.
World News
FA Begin Search For “Right Manager To Lead Us To Quarter Final Exit”
The English FA have begun their search for the “right candidate” to lead the national team to a suitably embarrassing quarter-final tournament defeat.
Facebook Updates Terms of Service, Will Require User DNA
Facebook have unveiled an update to their terms of service which will required users to submit DNA samples to continue using the service.
Fred Goodwin Stripped of His Tesco Clubcard
In what is being recognised as a dramatic fall from grace, former Royal Bank of Scotland chief Fred Goodwin has been stripped of his Tesco Clubcard.
Olympic 2012 Mascot Row: 26p An Admin Error, “Should Have Been 62p”
Makers of Olympic mascot cuddly toys have apologised for an error that caused Chinese labour wages to show as 26p per hour instead of the “industry standard” of 62p.
ITV Apologises As Torres Champions League Footage From FIFA 12
Ofcom has ruled that ITV misled viewers by airing footage of Fernando Torres as a fully contributing member of Chelsea FC, which was actually material taken from FIFA 12.
Barack Obama Officially Endorses Newt Gingrich
Current president Barack Obama has strongly endorsed Newt Gingrich as his pick to face Barack Obama in the November election season.
Wikipedia Outage Leads Students To Cut And Paste From Library Books
The day long Wikipedia blackout has resulted in millions worth of damage as students cut and paste from library books to compete reports.
US Iran Relations At “All Time Low” After Facebook Poke
The relationship between America and Iran has hit a new low after Iran is alleged to have poked them on Facebook, Secretary of State Hilary Clinton admitted today.
CERN Physicists To Put Up Lost Flyers For Higgs Boson
Scientists at CERN have begun an ambitious new approach in the search for the Higgs Boson by putting up lost flyers in the surrounding neighbourhood.