Donald Trump To Start Trade War Over Foreign Vibranium
UNITED STATES – In a major escalation of his aggressive trade rhetoric, Donald Trump has announced he plans to impose punishing tariffs on all imported vibranium.
Business
High Speed Rail Plans Will See Government Fly Britons To Japan
The government has announced plans to provide commuters with access to high speed rail will involve flying them to Japan to use the trains in that country.
SpongeBob SquarePants Calls For Strike In Krusty Krab Pay Protest
SpongeBob Squarepants has become the latest fast food worker to call for strike action in a dispute with the Krusty Krab over low hourly pay.
Npower To Honour Nelson Mandela By Increasing Prices Another 2.7%
Energy supplier Npower has announced it will raise its energy prices a further 2.7% to mark the memory of Nelson Mandela’s time in prison.
Banks Announce They’re Ready To Crash World Economy Again
Bankers at the world’s largest financial institutions have announced they are ready to kick off another economic catastrophe some time soon.
U.S. Economic Recovery Boosted By “Record” Black Friday Violence
Stores across the country are hailing the “best Black Friday ever” after record levels of violence has put the retail sector on course for a bumper year-end.
Giant Pandas To Raise Funds For Endangered High Street Shops
The world’s population of Giant Pandas have gathered to raise funds in a last-ditch bid to save the endangered high street retailer.
Apple Unveil New Ultra Thin iPad 2D
Apple have released a new model of the iPad tablet which they claim is so thin it only exists in two dimensions of space.
Apple To Launch New iPhone With Pre Cracked Screen
Apple have announced it will follow up with a new version of the iPhone that has the screen already broken and cracked beyond repair.
HMV Addresses “The Internet” Threat in Recovered 1995 Memo
The following is a recovered 1995 memo from HMV to its employees in response to the emergence of “The Internet”.