Florida in Storm Alert As Republican Convention Hits
Locals are being told to “prepare for the worst” on the back of news the Republican National Convention taking place in Florida is continuing to gather speed.
USA
NASA To Land Second Curiosity Rover On Jersey Shore
Following the start of Mars Curiosity Rover’s search for evidence of life, NASA have announced the subsequent launch of a second Rover to the set of Jersey Shore.
Barack Obama Announces The Death of Waldo
In a dramatic late night press conference, President Barack Obama has announced the death of Waldo after years in hiding.
Hostage Negotiator Confirms Katie Holmes Divorce From Tom Cruise
In a surprising turn of events, an expert negotiator has announced the divorce of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise this weekend.
Dora the Explorer Cancelled After Star Deported By Authorities
Nickelodeon have confirmed it has been forced to cancel Dora the Explorer after the show’s star was deported from the United States.
Peace Talks Between Chris Brown and Drake “In Tatters”
UN Special envoy Kofi Annan has called on Chris Brown and Drake to re-enter negotiations after initial peace talks broke down this week.
United States To End All Manned Missions To Space Mountain
In a blow for US space ambitions, the White House has confirmed it will end all manned missions to Space Mountain from 2013.
President Credits Stance On Homosexuality To Marathon Session Of Glee
U.S. President Barack Obama has attributed his bold stance on gay marriage to a two season marathon of musical drama Glee.
Bigots Forced To Decide Which They Hate Less: Black Guy Or Mormon
Voters who class themselves as bigots are being forced to face an “impossible choice” in the 2012 presidential elections: choosing between a Mormon and a black guy.
“Al-Qaeda May Be Plotting To Fund Future Series of The Kardashians,” Warn FBI
The FBI have warned al-Qaeda may be preparing renewed attacks on the United States, possibly by funding future seasons of Keeping Up With The Kardashians.