US Denies Barack Obama Knew NSA Had Tapped Prayers To God
The National Security Agency is denying reports that Barack Obama has been aware of the surveillance of prayers to God since 2010.
USA
Zombies Hit Out Over “Stereotypical” Halloween Costumes
The world’s population of zombie have hit out at Halloween party goers for wearing stereotypical costumes that paint zombies in a derogatory light.
Fox News Thrilled That People Still Can’t Sign Up For Health Care
Employees at Fox News are reported to be thrilled over new figures showing record numbers of people are still failing to sign up for Obamacare.
PRISM Program Forces Al-Qaeda into Mass Redundancies
al-Qaeda have announced mass redundancies will take place after the discovery of a U.S. operated online surveillance program, citing “lack of future opportunities”.
Chicken Wing Theft Sets Race Back “Decades” Says Sharpton
Two men have been accused of reinforcing African-American stereotypes after stealing thousands of dollars worth of chicken wings.
OJ Simpson Releases New Book: “IF I Did Get Fat”
OJ Simpson has published a new book in which he puts forward a hypothetical scenario of what could have caused him to gain weight while in prison.
Barack Obama Appoints Lindsay Lohan As Scandal Czar
Barack Obama has named Lindsay Lohan as new as the new U.S. Scandal Czar following the wave of troubling news stories to hit the White House.
Reality TV “Setting Unrealistic Standards For Nation’s Skanks”
A new report has strongly hinted that a new breed of reality television shows are setting unrealistic levels of skankiness for the nation’s skanks.
Lance Armstrong Tests Positive for Remorse-Enhancing Drugs
Lance Armstrong is facing calls to pull out of his campaign to restore his public image after testing positive for remorse enhancing substances.
Americans Avoid Fiscal Cliff By Throwing Congress Over Actual Cliff
In an unexpected resolution, Americans have agreed an 11th hour deal to solve the country’s economic problems by pushing members of congress over an actual cliff.