Police Search For Meek Mill Diss Track Enters Fifth Day
Local police have confirmed the search for a Meek Mill diss track is still ongoing, despite being missing for almost a week.
USA
CIA Used Torture To Obtain Santa’s Christmas List
Reports from CIA torture report reveal Santa was victim to brutal interrogation techniques to determine the contents of his Christmas list.
MH370: Black Box Discovery Could Hamper Wild Speculation Efforts
24-hour news networks have expressed concern that the discovery of flight MH370’s black box could damage efforts to pass wild speculation off as news.
Republicans Accuse Obama Of Using Presidential Powers To Run Country
The nation’s most prominent Republicans have hit out at Barack Obama after he threatened to use his powers as President to run the country.
Man Files For Divorce After Kid Sees Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
A local man has filed for divorce after his wife was caught kissing Santa Claus late on Christmas Eve.
SpongeBob SquarePants Calls For Strike In Krusty Krab Pay Protest
SpongeBob Squarepants has become the latest fast food worker to call for strike action in a dispute with the Krusty Krab over low hourly pay.
Banks Announce They’re Ready To Crash World Economy Again
Bankers at the world’s largest financial institutions have announced they are ready to kick off another economic catastrophe some time soon.
U.S. Economic Recovery Boosted By “Record” Black Friday Violence
Stores across the country are hailing the “best Black Friday ever” after record levels of violence has put the retail sector on course for a bumper year-end.
Miley Cyrus To Kill Goat, Drink Its Blood At Next MTV Performance
Rumours surrounding pop star Miley Cyrus suggests she plans to kill a goat and drink its blood in her performance at next year’s MTV Video Music Awards.
Republicans Unveil Google.com As Obamacare Alternative
Congressional House Republicans have unveiled their first genuine alternative to the Affordable Care Act: google.com.