Barack Obama Speech Fails To Address Nolan Snub
Barack Obama’s State of the Union address has been slammed for failing to address the biggest issue facing the country – Christopher Nolan’s snub for Best Director Oscar nomination.
USA
McDonald’s Recall Burgers Over Real Beef Scare
McDonald’s have been forced to recall as many as nine million Big Macs, Double Cheeseburgers and Big Tastys after fears that they could contain as much as 100% real beef.
Barack Obama Warns of Nuclear Threat From Boogieman
Preseident Barack Obama today stated that the biggest threat to international security is the possibility of the Boogieman obtaining nuclear weapons.
“No Legislation Until We Get A Bouncy Castle” Say GOP
Republicans have wasted no time in setting their agenda for the new year by threatening to block all legislation until Barack Obama agreed to install a bouncy castle on the floor of the House of Representatives
“Homeless Forced To Do More For Loose Change” Say Experts
Industry analysts have warned that the success of US homeless man Ted Williams has radically altered the market for loose change.
America ‘Not Invited’ to UN Christmas Party
The US government has begun a major ass kissing campaign after outrage over diplomatic cables left them without an invite to the annual UN Christmas party.
Barack Obama Agrees to Extend McRib Sales Period
President Obama has announced a landmark deal to extend the availability of the McRib sandwich past it’s original six week promotional sales window.
North Korea Coca-Cola Bottling Facility ‘Provocative’
The Coca-Cola Corporation has said a report that North Korea has built an unlicensed Coca-Cola bottling facility is further evidence of Pyongyang’s “belligerent behaviour”
Where’s Wally Bin Laden Edition ‘Too Hard’
A new version of the famous Where’s Wally series featuring Osama Bin Laden has been slammed for being ‘way too difficult’
US Military Concerned By Shortage of Civilians to Shoot
Internal US military statistics have shown that American and allied forces are running ‘dangerously low’ on civilians to blow up in Afghanistan.