Donald Trump Announces Resignation of Santa Claus
NORTH POLE – In the latest sudden resignation during the Trump administration, Santa Claus has confirmed he will resign his post this Christmas.
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Kanye West Scares Millions Into Reading Books
Millions of people say they have been scared into reading books to avoid being caught looking as ignorant and uninformed as Kanye West.
Facebook Launches New Apology Plus App
In the wake of the latest privacy scandal, Facebook has announced a new version of its genuine remorse called Apology Plus.
Fast Food Industry Concerned About High White House Turnover
McDonald’s employees across the country are voicing their concern over “worrying” levels of turnover at the White House.
Donald Trump Appoints Bob-omb as Secretary of State
United States President Donald Trump has fired Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, replacing him with a Bob-omb.
Evangelical Conservatives Insist Marriage Is Between Man, Woman And Porn Star
The nation’s leading evangelicals have moved to remind people marriage is between a man, his third wife woman and porn star.
Donald Trump To Start Trade War Over Foreign Vibranium
UNITED STATES – In a major escalation of his aggressive trade rhetoric, Donald Trump has announced he plans to impose punishing tariffs on all imported vibranium.
Trump Administration Adds Agrabah To Travel Ban
WASHINGTON D.C. – The Trump administration has further risked international relations after a decision to add the mythical city of Agrabah to the travel ban.
White House: Media Not Reporting Smurf Village Massacre
Donald Trump has lashed out at the “dishonest media” for continuing to underreport serious incidents of terror, including the recent Smurf Village Massacre.
Donald Trump To Build Wall Around North Pole
Donald Trump has announced a controversial plan to build a wall around the North Pole in order to keep “the wrong kind of presents from entering America.”