Shock As Child Asks Parents: “Where Does The War In Afghanistan Come From?”
According to reports, extended 9/11 coverage has led to an increase in young children asking their parents: “Mom, dad. Where does the war in Afghanistan come from?”
Terror Suspects
“Al-Qaeda May Be Plotting To Fund Future Series of The Kardashians,” Warn FBI
The FBI have warned al-Qaeda may be preparing renewed attacks on the United States, possibly by funding future seasons of Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
North Korea: “We’ll Stop Making Nukes If You Stop Making Fast and Furious Sequels”
North Korea has pledged to discontinue uranium enrichment if in return the US discontinues its production of Fast and Furious sequels.
Al-Qaeda: US Must Better Protect Its Freedoms Before More Attacks
Ayman al-Zawahiri has launched a scathing attack against the U.S. for introducing legislation that “will make our job of terrorizing American citizens redundant”.
Kim Jong-Un Succession Delayed Over IT Support Issues
Kim Jong-un has had his start date for succession pushed back after IT reported “major tech issues” while preparing his work laptop and log in credentials.
9/11 Anniversary: French Raise Alert Level To ‘Surrender’
In the run up to the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks, France has quickly moved to raise their alert level to its highest position: ‘Surrender’.
“Al-Qaeda Planning 9/11 Anniversary Dinner” Says Homeland Security
US security officials have leaned that al-Qaeda are planning an ‘ambitious’ dinner ahead of the anniversary of the September 11th attacks.
New al-Qaeda Leader Starts Small, Stages Attack On US Mailbox
New al-Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahiri has reportedly claimed responsibility for a ‘devastating’ attack on a US mailbox.
KFC Double Down Becomes New al-Qaeda Leader
After weeks of speculation, a number of sources are confirming the appointment of the KFC Double Down as the new leader of al-Qaeda.
GQ Editor Seeks Gaddafi Arrest Warrant For Fashion Crimes
The chief editor of GQ Magazine has requested an arrest warrant for Libyan leader Moammar Gaddafi, saying there is ample evidence he has committed numerous crimes against fashion.