Trump Administration Adds Agrabah To Travel Ban
WASHINGTON D.C. – The Trump administration has further risked international relations after a decision to add the mythical city of Agrabah to the travel ban.
Terror Suspects
White House: Media Not Reporting Smurf Village Massacre
Donald Trump has lashed out at the “dishonest media” for continuing to underreport serious incidents of terror, including the recent Smurf Village Massacre.
Oxford Street Terror Attack Foiled Due To Planned Engineering Works
Al-Shabaab’s planned terror attack on major London shopping areas has been disrupted due to planned engineering work on the underground this weekend.
North Korea Switch To Virgin Media After Internet Blackout
North Korea have confirmed the full restoration of internet services after the country switched to a Virgin Media broadband package.
Kim Jong-Un Executes Uncle “To Reduce Hassle Of Christmas Shopping”
Kim Jong-Un has explained his decision to execute his uncle came after struggling to find a suitable Christmas gift for the former regime advisor.
Assad Promises To Stick With Conventional Methods Of Mass Murder
After destroying its chemical weapons production capability, the Syrian regime has promised it will only use regular methods of killing its own people in future.
PRISM Program Forces Al-Qaeda into Mass Redundancies
al-Qaeda have announced mass redundancies will take place after the discovery of a U.S. operated online surveillance program, citing “lack of future opportunities”.
UN Inspectors: North Korea May Be Developing Food Technology
The UN Monitoring, Verification and Inspection Commission have warned that North Korea is developing technology that will “soon allow it to feed its own people.”
Republicans Slam Obama For “Soft Poultry Policy” After Turkey Pardon
Leading Republican figures have slammed Barack Obama’s handling of the annual Thanksgiving turkey pardon and called for a tougher stance on wild game.
Barack Obama Declares Local Dry Cleaner Enemy Combatant After Bad Service
Barack Obama has taken an unprecedented step in the War on Terror by declaring a local dry cleaner a terrorist organisation after losing multiple items of the president’s clothing.