Fearful Refugees Continue To Flee Tottenham Violence
After violent scenes in the nation’s capital, scores of refugees continue to flee the North London area of Tottenham in efforts to seek safety and security.
UK
Murdoch Hailed For ‘Lying Through His Teeth’
James Murdoch has been commended by senior executives at News Corp for upholding the company tradition of sticking to a pre-established narrative of events despite the presence of facts.
Satan Resigns From News Corporation
As the scandal surrounding News Corporation continues, fresh reports have emerged confirming Satan to be the latest executive to announce his resignation from the company.
Ken Clarke Defends Homeless Man After Killing Spree
Justice Secretary Ken Clarke has defended a homeless man’s right to defence after going on a killing spree inside his street corner home.
UK and China Agree To £1.4bn Cheap Crap Deal
The UK and Chinese governments have announced a record £1.4 billion trade deal that will see an increase in the flow of counterfeit goods and cheap crap into Britain.
Andre Villas-Boas Sacked As Chelsea Manager
Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich has taken decisive action to sack newly appointed manager Andre Villas-Boas, five days into his reign as Chelsea boss.
God Rejects David Cameron ‘Absent Father’ Label
God, father to Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, has hit back against David Cameron after falling victim to the ‘bad dad’ label branded by the UK Prime Minister.
Arsenal Introduce ‘Cost Effective’ Three-Quarter Season Ticket
Arsenal football club have launched a new range of three-quarter season tickets a more cost effective way to watch the team’s season implode.
British Minister Announces Groupons For University Places
The British University Minister David Willetts has outlined a plan to provide students from working class backgrounds access to university using Groupons.
David Cameron Orders Start of Lib Dem Pullout From Government
UK Prime Minister David Cameron says he is determined to start the withdrawal of Liberal Democrats from the coalition government ‘as soon as possible’.