McDonald’s To Change Burger Colour To Avoid Red Meat Health Warning
Officials at McDonald’s have confirmed they will be altering the colouring of their meat-like patties to avoid negative connotations associated with red meat.
UK
Priests Encouraged To Attend Sexual Harassment Workshops
The Church of England encouraging all priests to attend a range of workshops aimed at explaining the difference between performing religious duties and sexually abusing children.
Liverpool Aim For More Second Tier Trophies After Carling Cup Win
Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish is confident his side can build on their Carling Cup triumph and bring more second tier trophies back to Anfield.
Fred Goodwin Stripped of His Tesco Clubcard
In what is being recognised as a dramatic fall from grace, former Royal Bank of Scotland chief Fred Goodwin has been stripped of his Tesco Clubcard.
Olympic 2012 Mascot Row: 26p An Admin Error, “Should Have Been 62p”
Makers of Olympic mascot cuddly toys have apologised for an error that caused Chinese labour wages to show as 26p per hour instead of the “industry standard” of 62p.
ITV Apologises As Torres Champions League Footage From FIFA 12
Ofcom has ruled that ITV misled viewers by airing footage of Fernando Torres as a fully contributing member of Chelsea FC, which was actually material taken from FIFA 12.
Rail Operators To Increase Taking The Piss By 5.9%
Rail operators will increase taking the piss with ticket prices by an average of 5.9% in the New Year, the Association of Train Operating Companies has confirmed.
David Cameron’s Economic Outlook: “Actually, Britain Can’t Afford 2012”
Despite being less than 24 hours into the New Year, David Cameron has declared Britain can no longer afford to stay in 2012 and will return to the year 2011.
S&P Downgrade News Of The World Scum Rating To “Regular”
Following reports the News of the World were not responsible for deleting voicemail messages of a murder victim, S&P have downgraded their rating from “abhorrent scum” to “regular old scum”.
Mary Poppins “Still Missing” After Heavy Winds Grip Country
The Metropolitan police force have confirmed their search for Mary Poppins is ongoing, days after gale force winds gripped much of the country.