Home Office To Inundate Illegal Immigrants with PPI Calls
The Home Office have begun plans to force illegal immigrants out of the country by inundating them with irrelevant calls about mis-sold Payment Protection Insurance.
UK
Under 21 Squad “Ready For First Team Failure” Says Pearce
After three straight defeats at the European Championships, Stuart Pearce has backed his young squad for abject failure at full international level.
Traces of Horsemeat Found in Premier League Footballer
The horsemeat scandal took an unexpected turn this weekend after traces of horsemeat were found in players of British football clubs.
Justin Bieber Apologies to Parents For Turning Up to Concert At All
Justin Bieber has issued an apology to parents after his unexplained absence was cut short allowing him to get on stage and sing for a moment.
Anti Gay Marriage MPs Move to Keep Gay Divorce Illegal
As the acceptance of same-sex marriage appears increasingly likely, opposing advocates say they will now do all they can to keep gay divorce illegal.
DNA Confirms Bones Are of Blackberry User Waiting for Better Phone
A skeleton found beneath a Leicester car park has been confirmed as a Blackberry customer who waited for RIM to release a better phone.
HMV Addresses “The Internet” Threat in Recovered 1995 Memo
The following is a recovered 1995 memo from HMV to its employees in response to the emergence of “The Internet”.
Kate Middleton Gets Oscar Nod For Role As Person Impressed With Kate Middleton Painting
Kate Middleton has received a late Oscar nomination for her performance as someone actually impressed with Kate Middleton’s self-portrait.
Julian Assange Hospitalised After Suffering From Lack of Publicity
Julian Assange is spending his second night recovering in a local hospital after complications resulting from an acute lack of public attention.
Santa Claus Latest Arrest In Jimmy Savile Investigation
Santa Claus has been arrested and brought in for questioning as part of the police investigation related to the Jimmy Saville abuse claims.