United States: Iran “Leading The Race” To Host World War III
U.S. officials have confirmed Iran are now leading the race to host World War III after a failed rocket launch led to an embarrassing setback from close rivals North Korea.
Not USA
Jason Calls On Syrian Government To “Show Some Restraint”
Professional killer Jason Voorhees has blasted the Syrian regime for taking their killing spree “way too far.”
UN Peace Plan Calls For Assad To Be Given Nick Clegg’s Job
Arab foreign ministers have backed Kofi Annan’s plan to see Bashar al-Assad removed from power by giving him Nick Clegg’s job in the coalition government.
George Osborne Cuts 10% Rate of Income Tax Square in Monopoly
George Osborne has announced plans to cut the rate of the Income Tax Square to five per cent for earnings over £10,000 during a game of Monopoly.
David Cameron Rates White House Visit 2.5 Stars On TripAdvisor
UK Prime Minister David Cameron has risked damaging the relationship between America and Britain after rating his U.S. visit two and a half stars on TripAdvisor.
A Response Letter From Joseph Kony
The following letter to internet users was delivered today on behalf of Joseph Kony.
McDonald’s To Change Burger Colour To Avoid Red Meat Health Warning
Officials at McDonald’s have confirmed they will be altering the colouring of their meat-like patties to avoid negative connotations associated with red meat.
Internet Users Frustrated Joseph Kony Still Free After Week of Tweeting
Following an entire week of tweeting, internet users have reportedly become frustrated that Joseph Kony has not been captured, branding the situation as “lame”.
Priests Encouraged To Attend Sexual Harassment Workshops
The Church of England encouraging all priests to attend a range of workshops aimed at explaining the difference between performing religious duties and sexually abusing children.
North Korea: “We’ll Stop Making Nukes If You Stop Making Fast and Furious Sequels”
North Korea has pledged to discontinue uranium enrichment if in return the US discontinues its production of Fast and Furious sequels.