Clinton: ‘Britain Vulnerable To Godzilla Attack’
Hilary Clinton delivered a stark warning against major cuts in the British defence budget, which could leave them open to attack from Godzilla, Cthulhu or similar monsters.
Not USA
HP To Slaughter 9,000 Staff In Downsizing Exercise
Hewlett-Packard has announced plans to shed 9,000 jobs over three years by initiating a company-wide cull of employees.
Big Bad Wolf Slams Delhi Preparations
The chaos surrounding the Delhi preparations for the Commonwealth Games has deepened after the Big Bad Wolf added to condemnation of India’s readiness to host
Nick Clegg Hails Achievements in Home Decoration
In a dramatic attempt to prove his worth, Nick Clegg has hailed the ‘good things’ he has acheived with the Downing Street decor since forming government.
Ricky Hatton Admits Addiction To Crunchy Nut Cornflakes
Former world boxing champion Ricky Hatton has consulted a rehabilitation specialist following newspaper allegations he has become ‘heavily’ addicted to Crunchy Nut Cornflakes.
Afghan Violence ‘Will Get Worse Before It Gets Worser’
The UK’s most senior military commander has told the coalition government to expect violence in Afghanistan to get worse before it gets ‘even worser’
Coalition To Provide ‘Extensive’ Homeless Training For Graduates
The UK government has outlined it’s plan to provide ‘extensive training’ to help young people adapt to life on the streets when the education system fails them.
Muslim Radicals To Christian Radicals: That’s Our Thing
Extremist Muslim radicals have branded extremist Christian radicals as ‘copy cats’ after a church revealed plans to burn the Koran on the anniversary of 9/11.
French Strike Over Unexpected Change In Weather
Hundreds of thousands of protesters have taken to the streets of France to demonstrate their anger over an unexpected change in the country’s weather
Joe Biden Visits Iraq, Bores Audience With Pointless Story
The Iraqi pullout ceremony has been thrown into jepordy as US Vice President Joe Biden has begun telling a ‘long winded and largely uninteresting’ story about the time he discovered the joys of hot cocoa.