The A-Team To Be Deployed To Libya
In an overly dramatic bid to put an end to the political unrest in Libya, the UN have enlisted the services of the A-Team for what is understood to be for a ‘reasonable’ fee.
Middle East
PM Cameron Promises ‘Oil Rescue Effort Well Underway’
The UK government has drawn up plans with America to rescue millions of barrels of oil currently stranded in Libya.
Barack Obama Sends Hosni Mubarak Angry, All Caps Email
US President Barack Obama has reportedly sent an impassioned, all caps email to Hosni Mubarak requesting his ‘IMMEDIATE’ departure from power.
America Propose Kermit The Frog For New Egypt Government
The Obama administration is discussing a proposal to turn over power to a transitional government headed by Kermit the Frog, say top administration officials.
Blair Tells Iraq Inquiry: “I Stuck My Fingers In My Ears”
Tony Blair said he disregarded warnings attacking Iraq would be illegal without further UN backing because he had stuck his fingers in his ears.
WikiLeaks: Saudis Biggest Funder of Lindsay Lohan Movies
Saudi Arabia is the single biggest contributor to the funding of ‘truly awful’ Lindsay Lohan movies and is unwilling to cut off the money supply, according to a leaked note from Hillary Clinton
US Military Concerned By Shortage of Civilians to Shoot
Internal US military statistics have shown that American and allied forces are running ‘dangerously low’ on civilians to blow up in Afghanistan.
Afghan Violence ‘Will Get Worse Before It Gets Worser’
The UK’s most senior military commander has told the coalition government to expect violence in Afghanistan to get worse before it gets ‘even worser’
Muslim Radicals To Christian Radicals: That’s Our Thing
Extremist Muslim radicals have branded extremist Christian radicals as ‘copy cats’ after a church revealed plans to burn the Koran on the anniversary of 9/11.