Cartels Reject “Dergatory” Comparison To Energy Companies
Mexican drug lords have unanimously voiced their outrage at comparisons made between cartels and British Energy supplies.
Latin America
Dora the Explorer Cancelled After Star Deported By Authorities
Nickelodeon have confirmed it has been forced to cancel Dora the Explorer after the show’s star was deported from the United States.
Watching Slow Plodding England Caused Lonesome George’s Death Say Scientists
Following a postmortem on Lonesome George, experts have concluded England’s slow and plodding football was the cause of death of the world’s last giant tortoise.
“Consult Physician If Interest In Debate Lasts More Than Four Hours” Mexicans Told
Mexican males are being advised to seek medical advice after the appearance of an assistant in a revealing dress led to an interest in politics lasting for more than four hours.
Colombian Sex Workers Downgrade US Credit Rating
Colombian sex workers have downgraded the credit rating of the United States after the inability of Secret Service agents to cover a $47 charge.
Drug Cartel Threatens To Quit Arizona Over ‘Anti-Mexican’ Law
A Mexican drug cartel threatened to pull it’s business out of Arizona should the state continue to push its ‘hostile’ immigration policy.
Arizona Blasts Taco Bell Expansion Plans
Arizona officials have condemned proposed plans for the construction of a 4,200 square foot, single storey Taco Bell ‘just down the street’ from a Popeyes Chicken and Biscuits restaurant
Mexico Attempt to Re-Enter World Cup After Deportation
Mexico are still said to be’ livid’ over FIFA’s decision to deported them from the World Cup due to shocking revalations all 23 members were playing withought proper documentation.
Flu Pandemic Now "Too Big To Fail"
Swine flu continues to spread chaos across the globe, inflicting innocent victims with “mild flu like symptoms” such as “fever” and “fatigue”. It shows no signs of slowing slowing down. […]
Virus Outbreak: Panic Level Raised To "OMFG"
But it’s still not high enough. It comes as no surprise that pigs are the source of this latest virus outbreak. Something that sleeps its own mess is bound to […]