Say Something ‘Bout Mama And “Get Got” Warns Pope Francis
Pope Francis has issued a strong public warning, suggesting in no uncertain terms that anyone who cursed his mother could “get got”.
Asia
High Speed Rail Plans Will See Government Fly Britons To Japan
The government has announced plans to provide commuters with access to high speed rail will involve flying them to Japan to use the trains in that country.
Kim Jong-Un Executes Uncle “To Reduce Hassle Of Christmas Shopping”
Kim Jong-Un has explained his decision to execute his uncle came after struggling to find a suitable Christmas gift for the former regime advisor.
North Korea Respond To Xbox One Used Game Policy With Missile Test
North Korea have launched an unscheduled round of missile tests in response to the used game policy on the upcoming Xbox One console.
UN Inspectors: North Korea May Be Developing Food Technology
The UN Monitoring, Verification and Inspection Commission have warned that North Korea is developing technology that will “soon allow it to feed its own people.”
North Korea: “We’ll Stop Making Nukes If You Stop Making Fast and Furious Sequels”
North Korea has pledged to discontinue uranium enrichment if in return the US discontinues its production of Fast and Furious sequels.
Kim Jong-Un Succession Delayed Over IT Support Issues
Kim Jong-un has had his start date for succession pushed back after IT reported “major tech issues” while preparing his work laptop and log in credentials.
Western Panic Eases After Chinese Missile Break Apart During Use
Fears over a growing Chinese military threat have lifted today after reports that several anti-aircraft ballistic missiles have fallen apart during repeat use.
Japan PM Quits After Losing 12 Consecutive Street Fighter Matches
Japan has been left reeling following news Prime Minster Yoshihiko Noda has quit after an embarrassing run of consecutive defeats in Street Fighter 4.
China Scolds US For Bringing Home ‘Shameful’ Grades
China has launched an astonishing attack on the United States after it received ‘shameful’ grades in it’s latest credit rating report card.