Russia’s Losing Hockey Team Still Missing After Sochi Games
Latest reports from Sochi suggest the entire Russian hockey team have yet to be seen since their quarter final loss in a game watched by Vladimir Putin.
Olympics
Paralympics: Oscar Pistorius Tests Positive For Sour Grapes
In sad news for athletics, Paralympic Runner Oscar Pistorius has tested positive for the banned substance Sour Grapes.
Olympics Inspire Nation to Walk Instead of Drive to McDonald’s
After two weeks of watching athleticism of the highest order, millions of Olympic enthusiasts have been inspired to walk to their nearest McDonald’s instead of driving.
Olympics: Incredible Hulk Protests Innocence Amid Doping Controversy
The Incredible Hulk is fighting to save his reputation after being accused of taking performance enhancing substances during the London Olympics.
Emergency Troops To Fill Empty Spaces on London Underground
The British government has confirmed it will look into reports of empty seats on the London Underground which has left locals without a convenient excuse to arrive late to work.
Ashley Young Called Up To British Olympic Diving Team
Manchester United winger Ashley Young has received a surprise call up to join Team GB after a number of impressive dives in recent weeks.
Olympic 2012 Mascot Row: 26p An Admin Error, “Should Have Been 62p”
Makers of Olympic mascot cuddly toys have apologised for an error that caused Chinese labour wages to show as 26p per hour instead of the “industry standard” of 62p.
IOC Warn “London Travel Costs Will Hamstring Olympic Athletes”
A growing number of Olympic athletes fear they will be unable to afford London travel costs required to reach designated games venues a year from now.
Al-Qaeda Unsuccessful In Bid to Get Tickets For 2012 Olympics
London Metropolitan Police have been given a major boost ahead of the 2012 Olympics after al-Qaeda failed to get any ‘decent’ tickets for the most popular events.
Iran Threaten To Not Make Up The Numbers At Olympics
Iran have reiterated their threat to boycott the London 2012 Olympic Games, potentially leaving the IOC with one less country to make up the numbers at the event.