George Lucas Discovers New Way To Exploit Stars Wars
George Lucas has announced he has discovered a new way to exploit the Star Wars franchise for ‘big bucks’ by releasing it in 3D.
Entertainment
Wu Tang Clan Make Job Cuts As Unemployment Rises
After years of explosive growth, the Wu Tang Clan have been forced into an unexpected round of job cuts, pushing their unemployment rate past 20%.
President Obama Condemns Harry Potter Book Burning
US President Barack Obama called plans for a group of Percy Jackson fans to burn books of rival fiction series Harry Potter ‘dangerous and inflammatory’.
Jerry Mouse Releases ‘Controversial’ Memoirs
In what is being described as a ‘blatant grab for attention’, Jerry Mouse has released his memoirs detailing a dysfunctional relationship with co-star Tom Cat.
Bert Denies Allegations of Relationship With Ernie
In an emotional press conference, Bert has issued a statement condemning rumours of an improper relationship with male co-star Ernie as ‘utterly false’, insisting he, Ernie and Rubber Duckie were just friends.
Taliban Soldiers Call For Medal of Honor Ban
Leading members of the Taliban have launched a scathing attack on the upcoming Medal of Honor game which will allow players to shoot Afghan terrorists over a number of realistic levels.
Lohan Begins 90 Days of Acting Rehabilitation
Actress Linsey Lohan has been ordered to complete 90 days of rehab at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts to overcome her addiction to making terrible Hollywood filler movies.
Lil Wayne To Release New Mixtape ‘I Don’t Wanna Talk About It’
Lil Wayne has not allowed an eight month prison sentence to interrupt a successful career and is set to release his new mixtape titled “I Don’t Wanna Talk About It”.
BP Deny Responsibility For Micheal Jackson Death
Embattled BP Chief Tony Hayward has been forced to deny allegations his company was responsible for the death of Micheal Jackson.
Gang Members Condemn Justin Bieber Wikileaks Report
Anonymous South Central LA gangs have condemned the leak which revealed profiles of members who recently viewed and voted for Justin Bieber’s ‘Baby’ video on YouTube.