NASA To Land Second Curiosity Rover On Jersey Shore
Following the start of Mars Curiosity Rover’s search for evidence of life, NASA have announced the subsequent launch of a second Rover to the set of Jersey Shore.
Entertainment
Hostage Negotiator Confirms Katie Holmes Divorce From Tom Cruise
In a surprising turn of events, an expert negotiator has announced the divorce of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise this weekend.
Peace Talks Between Chris Brown and Drake “In Tatters”
UN Special envoy Kofi Annan has called on Chris Brown and Drake to re-enter negotiations after initial peace talks broke down this week.
President Credits Stance On Homosexuality To Marathon Session Of Glee
U.S. President Barack Obama has attributed his bold stance on gay marriage to a two season marathon of musical drama Glee.
“Al-Qaeda May Be Plotting To Fund Future Series of The Kardashians,” Warn FBI
The FBI have warned al-Qaeda may be preparing renewed attacks on the United States, possibly by funding future seasons of Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
James Cameron Releases Family Home Movies in 3D
James Cameron has announced the release of his old home movies in 3D to coincide with the 20th anniversary of their first release in his home theatre.
Stuntman Fails To Jump U.S. Economic Inequality Gap
Worrying reports out of New York indicate that an U.S. born daredevil has suffered serious injuries after a failed attempt to jump America’s growing inequality gap.
Rick Santorum Wins Oscar For Brief Role As Credible Presidential Candidate
Rick Santorum has picked up a surprise Oscar win for his brief but convincing role as a credible candidate for president of the United States.
All R Kelly Music Banned From Military Following Urinating Incident
Barack Obama has confirmed all of R Kelly’s music is to be banned from the military in the wake of an online video showing Marines urinating on dead Afghans.
S&P Downgrade News Of The World Scum Rating To “Regular”
Following reports the News of the World were not responsible for deleting voicemail messages of a murder victim, S&P have downgraded their rating from “abhorrent scum” to “regular old scum”.