Barack Obama Appoints Lindsay Lohan As Scandal Czar
Barack Obama has named Lindsay Lohan as new as the new U.S. Scandal Czar following the wave of troubling news stories to hit the White House.
Entertainment
Justin Bieber Apologies to Parents For Turning Up to Concert At All
Justin Bieber has issued an apology to parents after his unexplained absence was cut short allowing him to get on stage and sing for a moment.
Hansel and Gretel Found To Contain Traces of War Horse
Paramount Pictures have been forced to recall their new movie from cinemas after initial screenings confirmed it contained traces of War Horse.
Reality TV “Setting Unrealistic Standards For Nation’s Skanks”
A new report has strongly hinted that a new breed of reality television shows are setting unrealistic levels of skankiness for the nation’s skanks.
Lance Armstrong Tests Positive for Remorse-Enhancing Drugs
Lance Armstrong is facing calls to pull out of his campaign to restore his public image after testing positive for remorse enhancing substances.
Yogi Bear “Comes Clean” About Defecating in Woods in Oprah Interview
Oprah Winfrey has announced the conclusion of her “frank and honest” interview with Yogi Bear over allegations he defecated in a local wooded area.
Kate Middleton Gets Oscar Nod For Role As Person Impressed With Kate Middleton Painting
Kate Middleton has received a late Oscar nomination for her performance as someone actually impressed with Kate Middleton’s self-portrait.
David Blaine to Watch Last Three Adam Sandler Movies
In his latest display of extreme endurance, David Blaine has revealed he will watch the last three Adam Sandler movies back to back to back.
47% of Seasame Street Live for Welfare: Open Letter From Mitt Romney
The following is an open letter sent by Mitt Romney defending the comments he made towards the publicly funded children’s education shows Sesame Street.
9/11 Anniversary: Bin Laden Dead, But Charlie Sheen Still Out There
Barack Obama has warned the American people to stay vigilant, reminding the nation that although Osama Bin Laden may be dead “Charlie Sheen is still out there.”