Local Man Awarded MBE For Services To Alcoholism
A local alcoholic has been recognised by Queen Elizabeth II with an MBE in the New Year Honours list for his selfless dedication in the field of being really really drunk all the time.
Articles by UK Correspondent
Julian Assange Has Library Card Revoked
In another instance of the backlash against WikiLeaks, founder Julian Assange has been informed that his library access has been terminated ‘with immediate effect’.
Liberal Democrats Begin Search For Nick Clegg’s Spine
Hundreds of Liberal Democrat parliamentary candidates are set to launched a country-wide search for deputy PM Nick Clegg’s spine.
George Osborne Wields Spending Axe, Cuts Nap Time
It has emerged that George Osborne will cut nap time in all UK nurseries ‘indefinitely’ as part of the UK spending review.
Clinton: ‘Britain Vulnerable To Godzilla Attack’
Hilary Clinton delivered a stark warning against major cuts in the British defence budget, which could leave them open to attack from Godzilla, Cthulhu or similar monsters.
Nick Clegg Hails Achievements in Home Decoration
In a dramatic attempt to prove his worth, Nick Clegg has hailed the ‘good things’ he has acheived with the Downing Street decor since forming government.
Coalition To Provide ‘Extensive’ Homeless Training For Graduates
The UK government has outlined it’s plan to provide ‘extensive training’ to help young people adapt to life on the streets when the education system fails them.
World Cup Inspector Found Dead In Lounge
A Fifa Inspector has been found dead two days after having privately criticised England’s bid to host the 2018 World Cup.
World Leaders Convene For G8 Afterparty
David Cameron has urged ‘tight focus’ on preparations for the G8 afterparty – his first as Prime Minister – to ensure it would be as ‘on and popping’ as previous years.
Osborne Budget To Include Provisions For Lottery Tickets
George Osbourne has outlined his plan to invest in up to a billion lottery tickets over the next three years in the first budget since the coalition was formed.